Memorial Day

Ralph George Stanley was born 15 March 1920, in Seattle Washington to Cecil Phillips and Gazella Schaffer (Zella). A sister Helen was born July 22, 1921.

After a second failed marriage, Zella took her children and moved to San Francisco where Ralph began attending Mission High School.

In high school he had an unfortunate gum disease and lost his teeth so that he began wearing false teeth at a young age. The problem prevented him from being in some sports and from pursuing his hope of becoming a military pilot. Instead he was active in the ROTC where he graduated a major.

Through the years the little family was close. "We were buddies," Aunt Helen remembers. Her brother went by Ralph, a name he didn't care for. She says, "Daisy always called him Stan."

After high school Ralph began working at I. Magnin's department store in San Francisco. There he met and dated fellow employee, Rudi Shainwald. It was war time by then and Ralph was drafted. Ralph and Rudi were married in SF (according to Aunt Helen) before he shipped to Europe. (I've written you about his war memories before). He served mainly in France and in No.Africa.

He didn't like excuse-making in himself or in others. When Mike went to see his dad at work to tell him he wanted to join the Mormon church, Ralph didn't object but said something to the effect that, "If you're going to do it, do it all the way. "

In his final years Mike and I visited him at a rest home in Belmont area, and he was welcoming and 100% aware. We visited but there wasn't a lot to say. At some point Mike said, "Well, Dad. I guess we're gonna go now. It'll be getting dark soon." Ralph said matter-of-factly, "And you can't drive in the dark?"

His faith was private. When asked if he prayed he said, "In my own way;" when asked if he felt protected while at war he said, "Yes."

I talked to Daisy and to Aunt Helen Schlinger in Whittier, CA for this info.

My Mother

Mother's Day slipped past while I was on the road, but here's a letter my mother sent me my second year at CCH, after I met Mike.
Sister Burnham in our Stake YW had taken a liking to me and thought I might make a match for her son, Spike, who was off at Stanford. While I was at school, Sister Burnham and my dad had a chat about the prospects. Mother was amused so she wrote this letter--with a paint brush. Read it from the right. "...Honorable mother vellee much like honorable son Spikee..."

The MidWest

We flew to Louisville with a quick trip to the St. Louis Arch during a three hour layover. In Kentucky we saw the Louisville Slugger baseball museum and Churchill Downs and tried to do a little Shainwald genealogy (Bertha Lowenthal was born in Louisville) before heading to Cinncinatti. After Eric's graduation we loaded up the Penske truck, sent 2-yr old Austin to fly home to CA with his grandparents, and the four of us headed to Chicago. We spent a beautiful, busy day seeing the Windy City before we began our trek west across Wisconsin and Minnesota, taking turns between the Pathfinder and truck.

Christina had more or less planned what route to take and where to go, so we ended up making some great stops along I-90. May was the perfect month because it's not quite vacation time but everything was green.

I haven't travelled across the country since I was 19, and sinceI expected it to be like driving across Nevada I was pleasantly surprised.

These are all pictures we took in both posts. Christina took the Chicago picture from the top of the Hancock Bldg.; Louisville Temple; etc.

The West

After crossing green farmland and Laura Ingalls Wilder prairies (you can imagine how the thick grass would make a prairie fire when it dries), we came to mountains in South Dakota--Mt. Rushmore. Then more mountain roads to Yellowstone the day the season opened. We saw bison and deer and coyotes, and a bear in the distance feasting on their antelope kill. We were especially glad to stay in the famed Old Faithful Inn right next to
Old Faithful itself with the wonderful Inn interior. Then we went by the Grand Tetons and home. The only moose we saw was at the north end of Cache Valley!

Pickles and Ice Cream

New babies coming in our family. It's wonderful. Navajo people believe those closest to the Spirit World are 1. ) new babies, 2.) very old people, and 3.) expecting mothers. They're all in touch with the eternities.

Then there's morning sickness. It doesn't help much to hear how others deal with it. At least 20+ women/brochures/doctors told me to keep soda crackers by my bedside to eat first thing in the morning. I did, but they were rarely needed.

When your body is making a baby the rules change. For example, when the average person is nauseated, they're sick and they should go to bed. I tried that. Then I figured out that I was supposed to keep going even while I felt crummy.

Some of the other things I learned:

• It wasn't all in my mind and I couldn't talk myself out of it.

• I was sickest in the late afternoon, rarely mornings.

• When my body said eat, it meant right now--not 20 minutes later.

• That tall glass of refreshing OJ might not set well on an empty stomach.

• Smells could be disgusting, especially meat cooking. (I would put the meat on and leave the house.)

• It was easier to stave off nausea than to get rid of it once it hit. Small amounts eaten often, especially when I wasn't sick, kept nausea at bay.
  

• Different things worked. One or two Pay Day candy bars each mid-morning--salty, sweet, protein--got me through one pregnancy, but not subsequent ones.

• The business of eating while one is nauseated is pretty awful, but a little soda pop followed by a bland cracker sometimes helped.

• The exhaustion could be worse than the sickness. "Please let me sleep all day."

• Women are different from each other. My girlfriend knew she was expecting when chocolate tasted bad to her.

• I needed to stay hydrated, somehow or other. Some girls have go to Emergency for an IV.

Love, Mom

Road Trip

Still on the road. We began at Louisville (pronounced Lou.a.ville), drove to Cincinnati and then to Chicago. Since then we've headed west, crossing the Mississipp, Missouri and Ohio Rivers. The farms of Wisconsin and Minnesota have been green and beautiful. In the morning we should see Mt Rushmore. Then to Yellowstone and home. It's a perfect time of year to travel. Wish I could share everything with you.

Love, Mom

St. George Triathlon

Well, this weekend Jared is in SG to pass the torch and I wish I were there.There hasn't been an official closing ceremony, but Wow, what everyone contributed to this event that turned out to be a family fete for the last six years.

What would it have been without Ben's creative genius in coming up with the idea, the head-shaving, the "Do you have what it takes?" slogan. Sara's organizing and decision-making were at the heart of things, not to mention Steve's and Sara's house as Triathlon Central. Gab and Josh did graphic and web design. Josh, Salem, et al not only helped during the all-nighters but were constant in their emotional support all year. All the rest of us were there to do whatever: babysitting, manning booths, setting up the route, directing traffic, etc. Aunts and uncles and cousins showed up to help or to race on various years: Robin K., Gary and Janet, Lyle and boys, Robin and Mark, Rachel and Pete. Rog and family helped, too. Megan and Liz actually met the family at the SG Tri (and stayed on inspite of what they witnessed).

Of course, this is not to mention all Jared's great friends: Mandy and the cannon, Ryan and Juddy with the music, Shane, Andy (and Jeremy's helicopter) and how many others?

For all the stress and exhaustion, it was exhilerating. It felt like a party, like a celebration. I just feel like saying thank you to everyone who had a part, large or small. It's been good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Megan Elsie Stanley

Happy Birthday Megan Leigh Czarnecki Stanley!

Sunshine

Full sun is pretty, too.

May Flowers

We're having pleasant spring rains. Even without bright sunlight the flowers look good to me. Mendon May Day this Saturday. I miss everyone.
Love, Mom

Age Appropriate

I'm loving doing genealogy!! Today I found several names and dates in a History of Indiana in Ancestry.com. BTW, anyone can use that service for three days for free.